That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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