Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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