FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
