He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
