pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fuck appropriateness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
