Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
