why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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