He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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