i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
