You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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