No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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