I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
