My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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