That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
