I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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