yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
