apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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