She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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