No stitches, just platelets and will power
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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