How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
