Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
