so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
