Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
