I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
