Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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