Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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