I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize