lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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