if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize