Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
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Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
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Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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