Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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