you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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