Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
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