Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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