So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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