I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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