i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
