His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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