He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize