This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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