are you still at the devil's house?
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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