i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
