She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
