Swine flu. Run for my life!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Randomize
