My hair reeks of homosexuality.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Randomize
