meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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