shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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