every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
