I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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