how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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