If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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