"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You made out with two different species that night
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
