I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
