she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
