Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize