that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
He did a backflip because drugs
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