do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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