I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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