I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
