Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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