Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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