see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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