We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
