as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
